Unasked, Murray told Leda twice that he would never leave his wife. And he wrote me a letter saying that he - I think he said I shan't be writing for a while. Not that frequency matters, so long as they care about each other, and making love helps them care about each other. Nineteen - until I read the story again this morning 'cause I had a free hour. The image of a weeping eight year old girl sniffling and dripping snot all over him was enough to shake him out of his near dream state.
I was called, after he died, by Philip Davis who wrote this wonderful biography of Bern. This touch felt different though. I mean, you know, having an affair when you're married and you have two children - that's something you really might live to regret. And besides, after 10 years of doing it, it is a reliable pleasure. And Murray, who is a very successful painter in his late 40s - Murray is married to a woman named Sigrid. Although Leda imagines Sigrid accepted him dutifully when he dutifully offered himself. Then they get married and immediately the interest dies out because it's as if you've become your parents, and that's a kind of taboo situation. Do you want me to talk to him or not? So you're a writer and you're also a psychiatrist and psychoanalyst. I think even after he died, I still thought there should have been an intervention. He called me to speak to him about Bern. My father used to say you only need one. He paints her nude. Why do I feel like this? And with remembrance, terror came close on its heels. I simply wrote it as a way to gain closure for something that tormented me for years causing me to struggle with a crushing sense of guilt about it as I remember that I was a willing participant. Yet, the hair thins out, underarm and pubic, as if the soil had changed to one that no longer supports that verdant shrubbery but instead nourishes an astonishing variety of wild mushrooms. A woman watches her husband decline as he's treated for leukemia. I'm Terry Gross, back with psychiatrist, psychotherapist and writer Arlene Heyman. Unasked, Murray told Leda twice that he would never leave his wife. There should've been something. This biographer, Philip Davis, has called me several times. I do know you. And it was sad, but he had picked up something that was not untrue. The Leda character is painting, too.
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